where can i find something cheesy like this?i know i should read more. i used to love literature so much. i used to read printed things. but now to make me finish 250 pages of novel take me ages. i don't know what's wrong with me. i'm not that busy. not at home. not even at school. i just loiter around with my friends without doing nothing but laugh over a stupid jokes that we used to make to fill our time when we don't really have class to enter. and when i'm home, all i do is online without knowing where should i head to. as if i'm scared i'm paying that bill for what if i'm not using it. the bad things is, i stay online but all i do actually is listening to my playlist. currently keep listening to Random Awesome. keep playing it until i'm getting sick and tired. or maybe until i find another song to be my muse. i just don't get it.
i don't know what happen to myself but it seems i'm becoming more reserved day by day. i start to choose my friend. i choose who to talk to. i choose to who should i smile and to whom i shouldn't. i don't mingle to someone out of my circle. i feel like i'm back to my old self. i hate that. i'm trying so hard not to be that person anymore. i guess it's just my nature. little by little, it start to show up. i'm just keep praying that nobody going to start to hate me. i'm tired of drama.
and tonight before dinner, i saw ana cutting a honey dew. suddenly it reminds me of dady and home. when i'm at home i never do such thing. dady will do it for mummy and me. all we know is there are melon and honey dew or papaya in the fridge ready to be eat. oh..i just love home. my palm getting rough. i don't know why but i kinda hate it. i like when my hand feel so supple and silky soft. i don't know what's wrong with it. i used to do laundry at home. i used to do the house chores when i'm at home. and this things never happen before. in fact, my hands is one of the supplest hand among us. but now every thing change. now i start to feel shy to shake hand with people. i'm scared they might knew that i have such rough hands as if i'm doing hard work for the rest of my life. oh...totally turn off. how can i shake hand with my future in-law.
sorry i ramble a lot tonight. i'm not in a very good mood. suddenly feeling so hormonal.
something to cheer me up, we get to see our picture for the school magazine today. i have to admit that i look stunningly beautiful in the computer club picture. then i keep show it to every one in staff room how pretty i am in that picture. every one seems agree with a little force to admit it. but then our PK Kokum come on the evening before the assembly. i showed it to him and ask whether i look good on it or not. he said 'gambar kelab apa ni? cantik ja. duduk sama rendah. gaya senyum pun sama. tapi mata Arab tu biar hamdani yang cakap la'. hahaha...
actually it is a picture of me and him. we do look good together. i love how the picture speak thousand words. you should see my smile. yeah..i try to smile sweetly whenever we take a picture together. remind me of his text this morning. "ya sangat cantik+manis senyuman mu di sini...cantik sangat la gambar ni"...;))))
i don't know what happen to myself but it seems i'm becoming more reserved day by day. i start to choose my friend. i choose who to talk to. i choose to who should i smile and to whom i shouldn't. i don't mingle to someone out of my circle. i feel like i'm back to my old self. i hate that. i'm trying so hard not to be that person anymore. i guess it's just my nature. little by little, it start to show up. i'm just keep praying that nobody going to start to hate me. i'm tired of drama.
and tonight before dinner, i saw ana cutting a honey dew. suddenly it reminds me of dady and home. when i'm at home i never do such thing. dady will do it for mummy and me. all we know is there are melon and honey dew or papaya in the fridge ready to be eat. oh..i just love home. my palm getting rough. i don't know why but i kinda hate it. i like when my hand feel so supple and silky soft. i don't know what's wrong with it. i used to do laundry at home. i used to do the house chores when i'm at home. and this things never happen before. in fact, my hands is one of the supplest hand among us. but now every thing change. now i start to feel shy to shake hand with people. i'm scared they might knew that i have such rough hands as if i'm doing hard work for the rest of my life. oh...totally turn off. how can i shake hand with my future in-law.
sorry i ramble a lot tonight. i'm not in a very good mood. suddenly feeling so hormonal.
something to cheer me up, we get to see our picture for the school magazine today. i have to admit that i look stunningly beautiful in the computer club picture. then i keep show it to every one in staff room how pretty i am in that picture. every one seems agree with a little force to admit it. but then our PK Kokum come on the evening before the assembly. i showed it to him and ask whether i look good on it or not. he said 'gambar kelab apa ni? cantik ja. duduk sama rendah. gaya senyum pun sama. tapi mata Arab tu biar hamdani yang cakap la'. hahaha...
actually it is a picture of me and him. we do look good together. i love how the picture speak thousand words. you should see my smile. yeah..i try to smile sweetly whenever we take a picture together. remind me of his text this morning. "ya sangat cantik+manis senyuman mu di sini...cantik sangat la gambar ni"...;))))
