one day perhaps

when i first saw this movie, i never thought it as one of the cutest thing ever. but when they came out with this romantic video, it makes me wow...
i know it's just a story. someone create it. but when you look into the bright side, this thing do exist. how do i know. i saw one. my parent. especially the part where they grew older. my parent still in love with each other even after their 50 years of marriage. you can still see, still feel the love they show towards another. my mum still looking at my dad like the first time she lay her eyes and fall in love with him. dady on the other hand, still pampering and showering mum with loves and gifts. yeah, just like she's his first love. i'm so jealous. i'm so damn envy them. my own parent. the question is do man like dad still exist? i keep praying to Lord that one day He will send me someone like my dad. if He do reserved someone like him, i can do the wait. i'm willing to wait for another 5 years. cause just like what people used to say "the longer you wait, the better you get". i guess it's okey to wait longer when you're only 25. but it's totally uncool to still waiting when you reach 30. i keep my fingers cross to that thing wishing i'll end up tying the knot next year perhaps..;)
yes, keep dreaming zila.

talking about something else, i'm home. yes, home in tawau. i'm writing this entry in mum's room cause dady is not here. he's in kK. my cousin's solemnization is tomorrow. they keep pushing me to come to kK. i decided not to. it is one way of avoiding the golden question "when is my turn?". it is hard when you're the only one who is without someone by your side. among all of us, i'm the only one who is single. i mean single as don't have anyone called boyfriend, if i'm not mistaken. even my k.b18 is getting engage this sunday. rny, i'm happy for you darl. and now i start to sound like the last lonely girl. to tell you the truth, i am lonely. feeling alone as i can be. there were times when everything seems wrong. there were times when i feel like want to cry my heart out. want to turn me loose from this burden. from this sorrow. but i keep my chin up. be positive. i'm young. still young. there's a lot to be explore in this world.
suddenly remind me to someone who's marrying my relative. i accidentally checking on her fb profile then i saw their wedding picture. she's Australian and my relative is sabahan. but both of them are Cocosian. they've met during her last visit here end of last year. i think they fell in love just like that. and they tying their knot two months ago. i know both family playing their role so well. i mean my people as in 'my people' love to match making their children. they love marrying their children among them. as if 'other peopl'e is not good enough for them. yeah i know, typical Cocos. what caught my attention is what she said. she wrote there "go overseas. expect the unexpected. just like me". then i told dad about it. dady ask me one question. "do you really want that? cause if you really want, i can arrange something better than that for you". and i was like...."nope. i think i stick to him". i know dady was smiling listening to my answer. he knows me best. he knows that i'd rather wait for what my heart desire. no matter how long it takes me. once again, me being me.

so for now, put your trust on Lord love. keep praying that He will send you the best. put your heart on His gift. He knows you best to give you whatever obstacle in life. be positive. stop reading Eat, Pray Love just because he's the one who bought it for you. and pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee stop crying over stupid things, okey zila?