mari jadi emosional sikit

i've been surrounding by preggy mummy. friends in love. the new love bug. the newlywed. and i'm the only single lady on earth. sound pathetic to you? sound fun to me. well...lately i'm sort of become a counselor to a married friend. she's having a problem with her marriage. i actually don't know what to say to her. but according to her i can make a great couple counselor. talking to me some how help her see things in different point of view. all in all, the real gist is not to married to someone in your age. at least find someone two years older. guy at the same age is soooooo immature. i'm not saying all of the guy here. just some of them. they still don't want to leave their life before married. they still love to go out at night. come on. you're a husband now. what's the point of marrying you if she had to sleep alone at night while you out with your friend watching football at upperstar. like you don't have astro set at home. try to remember what have you promise to the bride's father when you're asking the hands of his daughter. all this things makes me think 'is this the kind of life that i want?'. no. i want someone who always be there for me. just like i always be there for him. hence, i'd rather wait.
i'm currently dating this old man. i steal him for a few weeks for this school holidays. he is my loyal follower. we're going out together almost everyday. he's like the only guy i've ever knew. the only one who can stand me. the only person who knows me best. i never thought this will give huge impact in my life but today on car, he suddenly said 'macam mana la ada orang mau sama meng kalo balik-balik bejalan sama saya. cuba bilang berapa ramai kawan meng yang masih bejalan bedua sama bapa nya?'. tetttttttt. nada. according to him, that makes me even harder to be approach by any guy. he's now putting down his daddy's cap and replace it with the man's cap. i have no problem with this. if there was a guy who dare to approach me when i'm with my dad, i salute you man. that's what i call brave. that's what i call real gentlemen. is this kind of guy still exist now? like when you want to go out with someone's daughter, you call her father asking for his permission. cause that's what my dad used to do when he wants to date my mum. (according to mum). i know if i want to wait for someone like my dad, that's never gonna happen. i'll end up alone perhaps. that would be much better i bet than have to sleep alone when you supposed to sleep together.

but at the same time, there still a hole inside my heart that longing for a real guy. i'm tired of being lonely. i'm scared i'd end up alone. i know that impossible cause i know dad would never let that happen to me. insya Allah.

i used to dream about this moment long time ago. now?

p/s: i'm ready to get married...;)