oh yeah...it's christmass eve and i don't know how on earth i'm thinking about this right now.
i want to be more religious in every way. i start to think about every thing happen in my life since yesteryear. it's like God is sending me some sign that until right now i still can't decode it. how shallow i am. but hey, i'm learning. Lord, this learning process will never end.
about the religious thing, actually it's not tonight. it's start since the trip to kK with Dani. funny how that shortest time he can tackles me, charm me with his wisdom words. i guess he just talks so much until my brain can't digest every little thing that came out from him. but one thing really caught my attention; "kita sebelum bekawan dengan orang kita tengok dulu macam mana dia jaga agama nya. kalau dia tau jaga agama nya, tau la dia jaga diri nya". God, i'm totally not that person. and here is some more; "sembahyang itu la yang besa nya mencegah kita dari buat dosa. contoh nya kau cakap dia begitu begini. kau tengok la dia jaga solat nya atau tidak. kalau tidak, nda heran lah dia mampu buat begitu". and i was like "am i talking to the same age person as me?" there were another things that we talk. but i'm sure can't stop writing about it until the school start next year. we do talk a lot. i talk about myself. spilling things that i never tell anyone. maybe because i'm comfortable with him, fizzy and ana. he asked me to write a book cause i have a lot of interesting story to be shared. well, i'm a keeper. i won't do such thing. haha...
recently after the sulking mode with daddy, we do the real talk. not the father-daughter moment but more to wise man-young lady moment. i know he loves me so much and off course he is the only hero that i give my fully devotion. i realize that i'm such a bad daughter. i non-stoppingly giving him bad times despite all the good things he has done for me for my entire life. i should try to run my life the way he want me to. at least that's the only good deed i can do for him and mum. i should stop being such a baby. take my life seriously. love my job and do it properly. and the most important thing is to grow up. well, for right now i promise that i'll do it for the sake of my own self. not for anyone. i know how hard it might be. but at least i should give it a shot.
be more religious. if i can't do the hard thing, at least do the least thing. do the prayer. solat. 5 times a day. it's not that hard. and watch my wear. cover every thing that can be covered. watch my language. mind my manner. until then, you'll be surprised what life may bring you.
now where the hell is my "Eat,Pray,Love" book when i really need it?
