i got a new hair cut last friday. nothing new actually. a fringe with a slightly longer bob. this time around, i just went to the salon, taking all my guts to cut it without asking permission or some opinion from anyone. not even him. though i know how much he likes a girl with a long hair. seriously, does it makes any different? no, right? OMG!!! i'm so brave. haha...i'm happy with the new look cause i look a little bit younger. not saying that i am old right now. so it is true when they said that making some changes to yourself can bring a new energy. a positive force to you. i kinda feel it right now.
remember when i said i start losing weight lately? budak kecik said i look bidak in my cotton pants now. i should firming my body. should do the hill sprint to make sure my butt stay firmer. weight gaining? it's not that hard for me. all i need is a glass of milk and a pack of cookies right before bed time.
too many things happen lately. i so hate hectic chaotic life. even hate the fact that i have to pretend that i like everyone here when actually i curse every time i saw their faces. and whenever i have to talk to certain people, and they treat me nicely, in my heart i feel like 'enough la...stop acting like i don't know what kind of crap you were talking behind my back'. i hate that feeling. why can't anyone be like me? you know when i don't like somebody, i just stop making any contact to them. i won't talk. i won't see their faces. i seldom hate people. only when they do bad things to me then i realize that and i stop be nice and be mean instead. daddy keep asking me to stop acting that way. saying that i am big enough to acting like a child. but i just couldn't. i'm not a kid anymore where i can pretend to be their friends so that i can have a friends to play around. plus, when they no longer a friend to me, it just gives me another reason to talk bad things about them without feeling guilty that i bad talking my own friends. haha. cool kan?
dani asked me yesterday about our little argument that leads to cold-shoulder war. i kind of what? who told you all of this? he didn't said anything but chuckles. off course he was the one who told dani. who else kan? so he did realize about that. that means he knows that it hurts me a lot when he treat me that way. hey!!! i never yell to you. i talk to you nicely. always. all the time. not one time i raise my voice to you. not even when i'm in PMS. is it wrong for me when i expect you to at least treat me the same way i do even when you're not in a good mood? compare to me, in a one whole month how many times did you face mood swing? none. or at least once. me? i'm having PMS a week before the menses and a week after the menses. 14 days and plus another 7-8 days of mood swing during the menses. that makes 21-22 days of 30 in a month. so now you tell me in that time, did i ever yell at you? did i ever make you as my punching bag whenever i'm mad at the students? did i ever treat you badly even when the world start to be such a diabolic to me? now you tell me!!!
ya saya sangat kecik hati dengan kamu. dan saya juga tahu kamu bukan kisah.
p/s: got to go. have to:
1. shower.
2. can i just pretend that it's not my time to cook for lunch today?
3. calling mum to ask for the winter melon chicken soup recipe. (it's raining season again here. i just want to make sure that every one of us stay healthy and not caught any flu or cough)
4. preparing lesson plan for my observation tomorrow.
5. start packing my stuff before moving to Perumahan next week. (mati la. punya banyak barang. should have listen to mum when she said i should stop buying things i don't need)
hey!!! i have not take my breakfast yet.
