superb

another thing i hate about PMS is your whole body become more sensitive. and. and. and. you're super horny all the time. sucks!!!

fair enough?

eye bag sucks!!!
wrinkle sucks!!!
gravity sucks!!!
mood swing sucks!!!
hormonal sucks!!!
PMS sucks!!!

the fact that men are getting more handsome and sexier as they're ageing, totally sucks!!!

resemble

tall pretty mummy+ handsome short daddy+ cute baby

can life be any blessed than this?

p/s: kalau tidak esok, mungkin lusa la ni period.

i thought i was hypotension

i seriously need anger management class. i just slapped 8 kids on their faces for giving pain in my ass during exam. that was after i threw tantrum in front of everyone. everything so out of control. i feel bad about it. real bad. but i just couldn't help myself.
now, i'm just waiting for the HEM to call me.

i'm sorry. i'm really sorry. this PMS is totally killing me.

rant

i miss K so much. i know it's wrong. but lately i miss him badly. i gather all my strength to keep him off my mind. i just couldn't. it seems easier to do it at school because i can channel all my thoughts by spending my time starring at H secretly. it sick. i put him in my conversation here and there. i try so hard to remember his smell every time he picked me up from class after his office hour. or to remember his jokes. his smile. his laugh. i just can't forget how he used to make me happy and how happy i used to be. i miss everything. i miss being in a relationship. 4 years alone is too long and sad. sometimes i wonder will i ever be loved again.
i'm not in love with him anymore. i can say it. i'm in love with someone else right now. but things are so hard. i'm torturing myself with something uncertain. and it hurts like hell. i don't know why i keep holding on to it. it may sound stupid but try to put yourself in my shoes. only then you know what fool means.
if only i have a magic to cast a spell on someone. or at least the power of compulsion.

seriously, it's not cool to be alone. imagine going to sleep with no nite and wake up without morning. it sucks. it sucks to know that no one cares about you. it sucks to have no one thinking about you in the wee hours. it sucks to eat alone. it sucks to plan alone. it sucks to spend your weekend alone. it sucks to have no one to share the new book you just read. or the new movie you just watched. it sucks to have no one complain you. it sucks whenever you read funny love quotes and you have no one to share it with. suddenly all the joy and funny feeling turn to despair. it sucks when you cook or eat something good with no one to share it with. it sucks.yeah, it sucks and sad and lonely. i hate it to the deepest. now let's cry together.

seriously???

H

keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding love

this period cramps.

this swinging mood.

this hormonal phase.

in a time like this, i hate being a woman so much.

why can't we have something much pleasure like wet dream???

EPO needed

kalau period semua pun mau marah.

semua benda tidak kena.

semua orang minta di maki hina cerca.

semua benda mau di makan.

terus rasa mau tukar bedsheet.

lipat 2 weeks laundry.

masak dinner yang sedap.

and i miss you like you're mine.

i start to miss you.

wtf???

it would be nice to have someone who flirt with you with food

now i know why the italiano love pasta but still can maintain that lovely figure.

1. they only eat quarter of my meal.

2. they don't have a bowl of ice cream right after that.

should put 1 slice of cheese only instead of 2.

pms, i'm so in love with you.

now, mengantuk at 7.54pm. great. night.

PMS

post-mens-syndrome

p/s: macam sial!!!

sunday morning rain is falling

steal some cover, share some skin.

nothing beat rainy sunday morning. cause you going to get up late. it's just giving you another reason to stay in bed doing nothing. close to heaven.

my plan for today:

1. house chores

2. laundry

3. finish the pending book i've started.

4. lunch date with budak kecik.

closer to heaven.

things going so well lately and i kind of love it.

PMS, please leave me faster. let the thing out cause i'm tired of feeling want to bite someone, yelling at my students and get mad when i'm not suppose to.

my sanctuary

and here too i have to sleep alone on a queen size bed.

;(

last night

me: Marry me then i'll feed you with food and love and and and and a great sex.

he: Haha...i like that!!! huhu

eggy

bila ada telur yang tidak di senyawa kan, mungkin akan lead to PMS. hasil nya bakal menjadi gorila untuk beberapa hari. atau juga minggu. pipi akan berasa sakit sebab terlalu banyak bermasam muka. how i wish i have someone to cheer me up. mungkin juga akan penat makan hati sendiri terhadap benda sekeliling. sakit jiwa sendiri. hasil nya akan menjejas kan P&P sebab budak yang akan menjadi mangsa. rasa nya pihak pentadbir sudah cukup kenal bila dengar jeritan suruh budak keluar bediri di luar. kesian budak. kesian lagi saya. tidak pernah minta pun benda jadi begini. mood swing yang teruk itu ada la salah satu anugerah saya yang terindah selain merajuk.
hormonal, i'm in love with you. yeah babeh...;)

waiting and counting...

strength

feels like

want to run my finger on his hair
want to touch him
want to be in his embrace
want to lean on his shoulder


p/s: Ya Allah, teguh kan iman tipis ku ini...


when you flash up on my phone
i no longer feel alone

mind you

mencebik tu aktiviti lapang ku

ya aku sedar diri aku.
sudah lah cantik.
seksi lagi.
otak boleh pakai.
mulut kurang lahanat.
jalan berlenggang kata budak.
body sedap rasa kata kb18.
yang lain tu kau decide sendiri la.

tapi
.
.
.
yang itu pun kau tolong fikir sendiri juga.


meluat kan dengan perempuan ni?

hormonal

tidak perlu bicara banyak, bukan.

it ain't a fling

aku belak. aku batchat dengan banyak benda sekarang ni. aku tumbling. mau kendoss yang banyak sekali.
aku punya hobi baru. duduk buat kerja time budak prep di bilik study. kalau stay lama-lama di bilik, boleh gila di buat nya. kalau duduk di sana sekurang-kurang nya aku ajar english dengan budak yang akan duduk spm tidak lama lagi. itu lebih enjoy. dengar cerita dorang. dorang tanya pengalaman sekolah menengah ku. tapi aku tidak akan cakap semua. bohong itu bohong ini untuk tunjuk kan kebaikan sikit. sedang kan zaman sekolah ku penuh dengan benda bodoh yang di lakukan oleh pelajar-pelajar pandai. itu harus di akui. hampir semua manusia yang close dengan aku time sekolah dulu berjaya hidup nya. muka yang sama-sama duduk memandang bontot guru lelaki. bontot sepa yang lebih sexy. bontot guru macro dan physical geo. sama-sama duduk makan tepi tandas guru. sama-sama jadi dajal umpat guru itu guru ini. tau-tau guru itu sememang nya layak di umpat bila kami dapat tahu dia punya video lucah. best nya. rugi kami tidak dapat tengok. kalau tidak, boleh lah belajar skill sedikit sebanyak yang boleh di praktik kan bila kahwin nanti. sekarang mana mau dapat video tu? k.b 18, miss angel, aku minta kamu tolong cari video tu.
aku lama sudah macam tidak rasa sedih. pagi ni sedih betul. macam perempuan meroyan di tinggal laki lepas pantang. aku macam mau datang bulan ja sedang kan baru seminggu bulan tu pergi. macam teda benda yang mau di buat di sini. polish tayar pun jadi begitu mengasyik kan. aku patut belajar waxing. buat benda tu makan masa. boleh kill time dengan maki hamun kebodohan sendiri. aku rasa kalau pyan baca benda ni, dia mesti bilang aku nonsense. tadi dia bilang english ku makin worse. teda benda untuk di salute lagi. aku patut nya di arah mengajar pagi. sebenar nya aku suka idea itu. aku bosan ajar budak. aku mau ajar orang dewasa yang punya banyak pengalaman. mungkin pengalaman yang lebih dari ku. aku pun perasan pasal english ku. mau tanya budak napa pindah pigi sekolah ni pun aku brain freeze sekejap. aku lost. macam sial ja. kadang-kadang aku iya kan juga kata-kata pyan. aku manja. aku kurang matang. aku bodoh marah kan benda yang tidak sepatut nya di marah kan. aku tidak pandai penat kejar benda.aku suka bila dia marah aku. buat rasa teruja. bila fizzy yang marah, rasa macam mau menangis. budak kecik marah dengan kata-kata yang cukup rasional. macam punya lebih banyak pengalaman ja.

hari tu sudah belajar rules of seduction. tapi lately ada orang yang mau minta ajar rules of friendship. shit. kau memang patut di ajar supaya tau apa kawan boleh dan tidak boleh buat. ka kau memang sengaja mau minta aku maki?

p/s: cukup buat aku hilang selera.

ignorance

aku benci rasa begini. aku benci tiap kali waktu itu tiba aku jadi begini. aku tau itu di sebab kan ketidak seimbangan hormon yang berlaku. tapi tidak boleh rasa nya PMS di blame 100%. sebab nama nya juga pra. maksud nya ia berlaku sebelum period. bukan semasa. tapi tiap kali aku period rasa itu hadir. rasa benci. rasa takut. rasa gusar. permainan minda. permainan jiwa. ya. mungkin aku tidak di izin kan untuk mengadu dengan Nya. jiwa dengan mudah nya jadi kacau. tiada penenang. ya. memang aku benci period. salah satu sebab aku benci jadi perempuan. tapi bila fikir kan ini yang akan memberi peluang untuk aku membawa anak adam, semua nya di lupa kan. saat membahagia kan ada lah saat bila perempuan mengandung. kata nya kepada ku suatu waktu dulu.


p/s: kau ignore ja la aku sampai kau puas. sebab aku pun rasa nya sudah pandai ignore rasa ku terhadap kau.

entry perempuan datang bulan

when i'm having my PMS, i tend to hate everyone especially those two guys who quite close to my heart. usually anything they said can lead to a tears. doesn't matter whether they know about it or not. yes, this past few days i love to cry over the simplest things you guys said directly to me or the one you said to someone else about me. i guess it's just me being hormonal. penat kan jadi perempuan.but what they did tonight certainly heal me in so many ways. and i start to feel i never alone in this place as long as that mister and pyan were here with me. tolak kehadiran ana dan fizy who always be there for me through my ups and downs. just to let all of you know, I PUT YOU CLOSE TO MY HEART. so this is basically what i have for dinner tonight.

1. nasi lemak from that mister

2. marble cheesecake from pyan

p/s: i don't blame both of you for adding my roundy muffin. serius ni. but don't you guys dare saying i look a bit chubby. i'm trying my best to stay in shape or at least to get back in shape..=)

this is for you. you know who you are

beware every utter of yours. you think i don't know? what you said to the girl this morning totally hurt me. you know very well how sensitive i am. you know well enough i don't take our things as a joke. as if 'us' ever exist. doesn't matter la whether there is 'us' or not. i don't care anymore. i'm immune to all this kind of thingy. just so you know...............................you hurt me badly. enough said.

sekadar gambar hiasan

p/s: i made an appeal
to your logical mind
don't think i don't know

another p/s: kau silap timing becakap di hari aku datang bulan sedang kan kau tau aku cukup sensitif.

ain't norm

where thou my gyno. i need to see one. pronto. i need one please. this ain't normal. this totally ain't me. yan, you have to send me to the clinic tomorrow.