for instance, i actually want to say "gali parit" but it turned out "gali kubur".
and few days ago when budak kecik and me torn between want to cook ayam masak kicap or ayam masak merah, she asked me why i love ayam masak kicap so much. i don't really have the answer so i said "arwah Khairul dulu pun suka" when i'm trying to say "khairul dulu pun suka ayam masak kicap". i didn't mean anything. but at that moment i thought he no longer in my life and that makes he no longer exist. so the "arwah" words just slip from my mouth. i feel terrible after that. i didn't mean that way. i'm not trying to curse him nor praying for bad things happen to him. i'm not that cruel.
you know that i'm good in making people invisible in front of me. lately i've done it too often. to a lot of people. to a lot of phone call. i heard my phone ringing and i know who's the caller. and i purposely did not pick it up. it's wrong. it's bad. it's too much. what if they called for something important? i might miss it.
i've been listening to the same song while driving. it's actually nothing. i just accidentally hit the "come around soon" by sara bareilles and i'm too lazy to change it. i didn't realize i have listen to it for a week now until i can memorised the lines. people said that your music define who you are. i guess i'm waiting for him to come around soon every time i hear the song. Lord, i just love waiting.
i washed my hair today after didn't wash it since monday. thank God i have this silky hair who never give me smell problem. it always smell the same no matter how long i did not wash it. i feel so blessed. it's getting longer and i like it but it didn't give me enough reason to brush it everyday like normal people. i only brush it whenever i want to feel princess like.
i'm having movie marathon since thursday. i watched a lot of crappy love story from Bridesmaids to When in Rome. now my mind full with this shitty idea about love. i just wish i have someone to share it with. not to share the lovey dovey part but more to discuss the idea of love. how sometimes people being insensible towards it. or i just want to know what is his idea of love. because to me love is when you sit together doing nothing, starring into each other eyes but still feel happy. i lied. that's not my idea of love. to me, love is holding hands in bed and lie still. yeah i lied again. love is starring at him without his aware. love is when you enjoy his smell and his present. love is when you smile whenever you see him smile. love is when you eavesdropping when he's teaching at the next door class. love is when you have "kids, cute alert" moment. love is when you're in love with the same person with no progress for a long time. love is when you turn down better guys for one person. love is madness and i'm the loco. love is stupid and i'm the idiot. love is torture and i'm the hurt one.
