people just don't know how lucky i am to have a father like this man. he always know what is best for me. he never complaint. he just accept his surrounding the way it comes to him. he is my real bestfriend. let see how cool this father of mine until i can talk about almost everything i want to him. he listen to me and always fill me with his wisdom words. this man is the reason why i end up doing TESL in U. this man is the reason why i end up being a teacher in Kinabatangan right now. this man is the real reason why i'm breathing right this moment. i love him so much and i don't know why i wake up this morning with the urge writing about you, dad.
you know what they said about dady's girl? pampered. spoilt. such a babe. let me tell you people. i'm none of those things. my dad taught me how to be independent in my own way. though still i'm such a brat. but i know how to run things the way it should be. but in the middle of it, i always go back to him crying asking for help. whenever i'm in doubt, you help me. whenever i'm in trouble, my mind, mindsetly saying "i should've listen to dad". he's totally a glue when i'm apart. the best things of all, he never say NO to me. he let me learn from my mistake then help me through it. dad, you were there last year when i'm so fuckingly down when he left. dad, you're the one who save me from my own stupidity. i remember when i was a kid, dad is the one who used to take care of me whenever i'm sick. mum cannot stand me. i ask a lot from her. like real LOT. and i used to think mum don't love me as she loves my brother more. but when i grew up i just realize that abg ajid feel the same way to dad. he said dad loves me more. in fact they love both of us equally. hope so. for the rest, you guys already have your own family to love you.
i don't know what am i going to do living without my dad. first thing on my mind is who's going to prepare breakfast for me every morning when i'm at home? who's going to knock my door for the subuh prayer? who's going to help me choose a good guy for my new coming guy? =p
the main point is who's going to take a damn care of me?
my aunt just passed away yesterday. she is my dad's big sis. it makes me think. what's going to happen to me if Allah is taking my dad from me? i must say that i pray for the same things happen to me too. i know very well about the Qada and Qadar. but i'm not ready to loose anyone close right now. i'm just not ready. i'm just a baby. for God sake, i still don't know how to run my life. i pray harder everyday for Allah's blessing over my parrent. i can't live without them. it's okay if i have no guy for the rest of my life as long as i have them. Hj.Marsden Abden, you just don't know how much i love you.
p/s: Allah, i beg you not to take away anyone from me. not anymore please. let me be what i'm suppose to be before You grant me with Your hardest trial. Amen.
