it gives me time to think.
it gives me time to deep think.
it gives me time to fucking think about every single thing.
it gives me time to enjoy the solidarity.
or maybe i want to get rid of this muffin that looks like 2 months pregnant bump?
well, at least i'm not running away from my feeling nor reality.
you know what's wrong with you?
you get chicken when you start feel your feeling.
you confused.
you run away from it when you know very well you have that same feeling.
you scared.
you afraid of being hurt. (like other people not)
today you like this, tomorrow you like that.
as far as i'm concern, it's not the other person who has problem.
it's you.
you're not sure of your own feeling.
you know what you want but you don't know what to do.
now let me gives you some suggestion on how to solve this.
don't treat that person nicely.
don't treat that person special.
don't give that person wrong idea.
don't give false alarm.
do not take care of the food.
do not take care of everything.
do not pretend like you know what that person wants.
do not text.
do not talk over some serious things.
do not make any move that will lead to flowery feeling.
do not ask that person to hold your thing.
unless...
you really want that person. go straight to that person and tell that person how you really feel about that person. don't do all of this and just disappear the next day. you know why? because it so fucking hurt thinking that someone is finally have a feeling towards you but in the end you'll find out that person is not. and yet you do it again and again and again, why? because you know that that person always have a feeling for you no matter what. but you forget one thing. you forget that that person is a person. a human being. that person has feeling. does it ever appear to your beautiful mind, how hurt that person might be, how tired that person can be, how sick that person can be with all of the 'tarik tali' thing you keep playing. make up your mind. just make up your mind. you know something beautiful is waiting for you.
p/s: apa kau mau?
(itu pun mau tanya lagi ka? sudah tau aku mau kau kan.)
instead of that, :: mau daging dua.
