Sunday, September 25, 2011

jalan-Nya


ampun yang telah engkau pinta dalam semua keraguan yang telah meliputi jiwa mu
semoga kan membawa cinta mu
pada diri ku dalam jalan dan redha-Nya

run

i want to start running again, why.
it gives me time to think.
it gives me time to deep think.
it gives me time to fucking think about every single thing.
it gives me time to enjoy the solidarity.

or maybe i want to get rid of this muffin that looks like 2 months pregnant bump?
well, at least i'm not running away from my feeling nor reality.

you know what's wrong with you?
you get chicken when you start feel your feeling.
you confused.
you run away from it when you know very well you have that same feeling.
you scared.
you afraid of being hurt. (like other people not)
today you like this, tomorrow you like that.
as far as i'm concern, it's not the other person who has problem.
it's you.
you're not sure of your own feeling.
you know what you want but you don't know what to do.

now let me gives you some suggestion on how to solve this.
don't treat that person nicely.
don't treat that person special.
don't give that person wrong idea.
don't give false alarm.
do not take care of the food.
do not take care of everything.
do not pretend like you know what that person wants.
do not text.
do not talk over some serious things.
do not make any move that will lead to flowery feeling.
do not ask that person to hold your thing.

unless...
you really want that person. go straight to that person and tell that person how you really feel about that person. don't do all of this and just disappear the next day. you know why? because it so fucking hurt thinking that someone is finally have a feeling towards you but in the end you'll find out that person is not. and yet you do it again and again and again, why? because you know that that person always have a feeling for you no matter what. but you forget one thing. you forget that that person is a person. a human being. that person has feeling. does it ever appear to your beautiful mind, how hurt that person might be, how tired that person can be, how sick that person can be with all of the 'tarik tali' thing you keep playing. make up your mind. just make up your mind. you know something beautiful is waiting for you.

p/s: apa kau mau?
(itu pun mau tanya lagi ka? sudah tau aku mau kau kan.)
instead of that, :: mau daging dua.

Friday, September 23, 2011

tidak best

me: do you believe in marriage?
he: off course. why?
me: as an institution or as a symbol of love?
he: both. in the name of God.

too bad. i'm not. now. i've been thinking about it lately. and i want to give myself a chance. perhaps there are secret wonder behind matrimony. so i thought, why not. let's give it a try. open up my heart. yes. i did open my heart for these pass five days. i wake up everyday with a smile on my face. thinking about giving someone a chance. whoever he could be. i'm happy. i thought i was. but i'm not. this morning, budak kecik told me something. and just like that, i changed back to what i was. there's nothing behind marriage but a mess and all the things i have in mind lately only happen to our parents.

just when i thought my heart is ready for it, something prove me wrong.
just when i thought there something between us, you prove me wrong. again.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

sola alma

strong jaw
long straight nose
deep eyes.

just perfect.

Monday, September 19, 2011

suratan atau kebetulan? what the heck...

i've been using this background image for google homepage since the day Barney formatted my laptop few months ago. i know why he set it up for me. everyone knows i have a big crush on elephant. to me, it is like the most unique animal on earth. it's big. somehow it represents myself. and i love it so much. i feel like want to hug him the moment he handed me my laptop. but tonight when i try to open a new tab, something caught my attention. let's see what makes me laughing my arse out yet makes me think. we'll see if we have the same idea.

this is my homepage
get what i mean?


let's enlarge the picture
still don't get it?


the elephant is in love with the ant

isn't it something?

p/s: senyum sendiri, kan?

dunia ini terasa lebih nyaman dan aman, jika kita ketahui ada seseorang yang menanti dan menunggu, dan menikmati kejelek kan kita, bukan?

sedang kan ruang asing sudah bisa membuka pintu hati nya setelah sekian lama.
kenapa pula aku belum di hadir kan rasa itu?



p/s: kamu pugai ya?

Sunday, September 4, 2011

bosom

i've changed my bra size cause now it's so fresh, full and creamy.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

ada jiwa Borneo dalam diri nya

is there any different between peninsular and borneo?
does it really matter where someone come from?
no, right?
my parents never care about that thing. especially my OH SO MACHO AND HANDSOME daddy.
all he cares about is whether that special someone capable of loving his baby girl the way he did. so i suppose no problem in dating peninsular guy. i won't say dating because my age is not suitable to date again. let say it in more serious way. matrimony. marriage. yes, my dad does not have a problem of me marrying someone from outside of borneo. i won't say sabah either cause borneo sounds sexier. in fact one of my sister is marrying someone from peninsular. my niece dating peninsular guy. everyone accept them for who they are. no one judge them. but we did sometimes. only on occasion. hahaha...