hero

watching Armageddon just now makes me miss my daddy so much. it's been a week since i talk to him last Thursday. how funny it is that i still can cry watching AJ crying when he wants Harry to tell Grace that he loves her. and my tears just couldn't stop running when Harry talks to Grace via video call. it was so touching. all the things he said. how he feel about AJ despite the hatred that he tried to show once he knows AJ dating his little girl. it's full of emotion.

daddy, i miss you. i'll see you this saturday. i keep my promise so far and i think you should be proud of me.

sunday morning rain is falling

steal some cover, share some skin.

nothing beat rainy sunday morning. cause you going to get up late. it's just giving you another reason to stay in bed doing nothing. close to heaven.

my plan for today:

1. house chores

2. laundry

3. finish the pending book i've started.

4. lunch date with budak kecik.

closer to heaven.

things going so well lately and i kind of love it.

PMS, please leave me faster. let the thing out cause i'm tired of feeling want to bite someone, yelling at my students and get mad when i'm not suppose to.

my sanctuary

and here too i have to sleep alone on a queen size bed.

;(

last night

me: Marry me then i'll feed you with food and love and and and and a great sex.

he: Haha...i like that!!! huhu

this is totally going in my blog!!!

i'm sorry but i just could not get enough of him. i wish i have tv complete with astro set here instead of watching HIMYM on youtube. i miss home on a time like this. i just don't have enough money to buy a tv. and i wish it's christmas again next month so i could ask daddy to buy me tv as a gift..

barney stinson is so legen...wait for it...dary. adore him.

igniting

i did tell you that i have a thing with smells, right?

i have this weird incident this morning. i don't know how to say this. but i found it really bizarre.
it's nothing actually. this morning after copying my class name list at the HEM room, i hurriedly enter the staffroom to finish my work. but then when i stand in front of the main entrance, i stop suddenly because i've been distracted by the smell. his smell. i thought he was in class. but when i enter the staffroom, there he was, sitting at his place doing his work. weird. weird. weird. it's three weeks now we've spent the morning together and i really notice every smell of him. weird. weird. weird. so weird. yeah...it's weird. enough said.
by the way, i hate seeing his pants now. semua longgar. hilang sikit sexy nya. nasib tidak hilang terus.

he once told me that he start to go to surau to perform the solat now. may be it's because Dani's advice. then i told fizzy about it and said "hebat la dani mampu ubah orang macam dia". then she answered me "nda. nda cukup hebat lagi tu. sepa berjaya ubah kau tu yang hebat". sentap mak nok.

surrounded

just say good bye and good night to our little cullen family. here i am alone again after having a blast of laugh with them.
last night when i chat with amir on fb, i told him "mesti sedap kan hujan-hujan begini makan nasi panas sama masak lomak cili api". and just now we're having masak lomak cili api udang for dinner. sedap sekali.
and what's the best of all is every one said finally they can eat hot rice in such a comfy place. faizal, amir, joild and iwan bertambah-tambah nasi makan. budak kecik pun seems happy with the food. me? don't ask. there's nothing compare to see their happy face having dinner at my place. i'm content with happiness. seriously. i'll trade the world just to see those smiles again and again. the food. the drink. the desserts. every thing is marvelous.
i think we should do this every weekend with a different menu.

you, bagus buang tu handphone sana. kalau nda pun, nda payah pakai terus.

a hole inside my heart

stay there. don't leave.
at least i still got you. my little heart.

living alone is so hard. you don't know what you up to. what do you really want in your life.
i'm talking about living alone. cause i currently living alone.
i come back every day to an empty house.
what welcoming me is just a queen size bed full of pillows to be hugged.
a playlist to be heard.
a movie to be watched.
a book to be read.
i used to have budak kecik every day and night before. but now it's only me every noon till night.
it's hard. so hard. especially when the night falls. i used to said to him that my every night is totally a struggling of eyes closing.
and when the sun rises, relief soothe me.
if i could, i would get married as soon as i can.
not for the sex.
but for someone to hold me closely every single night.





;(

home food

so yeah...here i am writing this entry in my own kitchen. hehe...no silly. in my own rented kitchen. i no longer staying at the hostel. and for the first time tonight me and budak kecik going to eat home food. just simple dish for the two of us. i cook here and later on going to her place to dine together. nafilah is no longer our kitchen. but still i have to hang out there tonight to meet joild and ask him to install that SMM in my laptop.
i love cooking. i love the smell of the food while i'm cooking. i love anything that related to food. but what i hate now is the unease smell of new stove and pan. it kills the mood. i have to get use to it until it gone. now only wait for the rice to cook. take bath, solat and budak kecik, here i come with the food. big smile please....;D

p/s: you, onyx tu cantik kan. pakai tiap hari ya. it looks sexy on you. biar pun macam beliau.

of a man

murah tapi sedap. tempting.

biar kroni-kroni bilang stop, aku tetap bilang go on.
sebab at least dia selalu ada untuk aku.
secara langsung atau tidak langsung.
sengaja atau tidak sengaja.
di rancang atau kebetulan.
at least.
dia set raga ku at ease.
bila sakit, dia ada.
bila sedih, dia ada.
bila kena dengan pentadbir, dia ada.
maybe sebab aku yang cari dia.
but at least dia ada di situ bila mana aku cari.
better than anyone perhaps.
dulu selesa.
sekarang makin selesa.
lebih suka bila dia dengar cakap tentang keseksian nya.
don't this, don't that.
take off the button.
love it.
sexay!!!

p/s: you, bila kurus, bontot ikut jadi kecik. trust me. i know best.

p/s/s: ex-bf, happy birthday to you. semoga cepat kahwin and have a merry life.

hot and spicy for the sake of charity

i used to have a thing with his street smart look.
but this is so beyond my expectation.

you go adam!!!

currently nomad

living is harder when you getting older.
it's 2011 now. how do i spend my new year's eve?
crying in orca for the whole night for my stupidity.
i start my new year by donating my rm700 to a stranger just because of stupid car crash i caused because of loosing focus. great.
and it is my money. i'm not asking from daddy like i used to do. why?
because i pay it on 3rd of january. and i hereby announced that i'm broke. never mind. HE knows best.
i'm teaching in morning session right now. i sort of like it because i can sleep on the noon side.
but i spent my morning feeling sleepy for waking up too early.
i currently nomad. i have my rented house but i'm not staying there because of the water supply problem.
i'm sleeping at budak kecik's place. it is so hard. i even have my underwear right at the back seat of my car. totally uncool and not so sexy. saya benci hidup tidak terurus. i'm still looking for a better place to live.
i miss home cook. i haven't eat any of it since i came here. if you saw me closely, you can see my dry skin. i swear. i hate it. the best thing i eat since 29th dec 10 is SR tom yam kung last monday. i miss home cook. i miss veges.
just to add another worse thing in my life, now is the early year. and it's time for me to get sick. i have cough right now. sore throat. tonsil. package of voice loosing. awesome. but like Barney Stinson said "when i'm sick, i just pretend that i'm not and being awesome instead". well, i'm awesome.
kinabatangan non stop raining since forever. i love rainy days. but too much of something is bad. yeah, musim mengawan. best kan kalau sudah kahwin. someone can put you in his sweet embrace and keep you heating.
i don't know why he suddenly so eager to loose weight. it's like he obsess to be skinny. i hate it. cause he look happier when he chub. sexier. especially the ass. i ask here once again for you to not to. i like you just the way you are. 57kg is enough. and i like your tight pants. use it everyday to school so you can cheer my dying morning up. lanjik nya ni perempuan.