Friday, December 2, 2011

it supposed to be like this

i once a student of high school. i know what it feels like to have a crush on my teacher. i mean my guy teacher. especially the young, cute and fresh one. but it's just a fling. i always know the limit. i limit myself. and i make sure the teacher limit himself. when i was in form 5 there was this teacher who teach in the afternoon session kind of built a feeling towards me. he used to give me a lot of CDs. full with love song. we were the big fan of Radiohead, Smashing Pumpkin and Matchbox 20. in every CD's cover he always put initial like "my zila". it doesn't bother me at first. because to me, it's normal for a young male teacher to treat their favourite student a bit different. especially the cute one like myself. hehe. i understand that somehow he's lonely. i'm growing up with two guys at home. i know the feelings of being a lonely guy. it's normal for them to say sweet things that sound so promising to us. they are men after all. sweet talker running in their blood. sometimes it made me happy. imagine having someone who seems to understand you. not like your average male friends who are so immature. yeah, life was beautiful. but i started to feel it's kind of weird when your teacher talks about having the same watch, having the same phone, it kinds of creep me out. it's even worse when your female teachers start to have bad perspective about you. this things happen until i was in form 6. seriously, i don't have any feeling to that teacher. because i always know that he is my teacher though he never teach me. i was a new students in that school. i'm not from there. so he never teach me. he teach Science, History and English. i guess that was another reason that bond us together. but i always keep a safe distance. we keep in touch until i was in university. we talked about life and love. when i started dating KA, i told him about it and he was happy for me. and when i'm busy juggling school and KA, we lost contact. the last thing i knew is, he got married to a teacher from my school too. i'm happy for him. whenl i finish doing my bachelor degree, the PPD posted me in my old school as a temp substituting teacher in maternal leave. we met again. and i'm teaching in the same session with him. we still can hang out like before. only right that time we're both an adult. no hushy-washy feeling. but i can feel that his wife is not comfortable with it. so once again, i keep a great distance from him and start to hang out with my unmarried Scout teacher and another new young single male teachers. life was beautiful that time. they gave me a lot of sweet memories of being a new teacher. so much lesson i have learn from them. thanks to them, now i can handle a rascals by yelling and spanking them hard.

what i really want to say here, as a teacher, we have to know what is our limit. it's not wrong to be close to a different gender students. but always beware of our utter, our move. we have to understand that we dealing with hormonal puberty human being. they tend to misunderstood our meaning. sometimes they may build a different idea from what we trying to say. trust me, i once a young girl. and as a student, we have to know where we stand. there's a lot of other shiny young fish deep in the ocean. it's not necessary for us to fall for some old dolphin. enjoy life out there. as a youngster, there's a lot to be explore out there. chiao!!!

sincerely from "the experienced" and tired of makan hati me.