mum

we were too caught up taking care of mum before until we don't really have time for anything. most of the holiday spent with her. we stop travel for awhile. being the baby of the family makes me feel the obligation is more on me. and what is more, knowing my mum started to fall sick since she was carrying me. she sacrificed her life to have me. almost losing it but lucky and blessed enough for her to raise me until i was 28 last year.
now here i am trying to plan our little vacation. i go numb. every thing is going bleak. i start crying again. i miss her so much. this hole in my heart is eating the whole out of me. i'm not strong.

Kata Nadiah

This is what my long distance bff said when i told her about my recent serious relationship ever. Probably the worse comment ever yet so damn true. I specially like the part when she said that Arjuna will end up like my big guy while me like my mum. Frankly speaking, that's what i plan to be when we are getting old and grumpy. Still gives each other morning kiss even when we both use fake teeth later. And to have someone so confident about him turning to be my dad is like having fireworks surrounding me. There's nothing i ask more than to have him holding my hand on my dying day with sorrow in his eyes and love in his heart. Too much to ask for, i know.

Whatever it is, i will try my very best to be a good wife that one could ask for. Never doubt this faithfullest heart, Sayang.

1st week

work is a mess.
house is a mess.
going to sort things out one by one.
be more organise.

and i miss you so much, Sayang.

Bye 2013, Hello 2014

I lost my mum last Ramadhan. 2013 has been nothing but horrible one until i literally collapse in front of You for the downright grief. But turns out the Almighty has His own plan. He sent me this wonderful being on Christmas eve. Suddenly every thing seems bearable.

May this coming year fill with blessing and a chance for us to create joyful memory.

The one who come at the right moment. Let's take things one step at a time and falling deeply slowly. May you're the one that i ought my ribs to, Sayang.